Dan Griggs

People have been asking me for years why I hadn't put up my personal website. The answer is I've been too busy trying to earn a living. I include art work on this site because people who really know me know that I started painting at about the age of 11 and might well have become a professional artist had circumstances not moved me in other directions. So, I figured I'd start at the beginning and artistically speaking, that was the beginning.

I started my career (at the age of 11) as a fine artist. My first love was art. Actually, my first love was a girl named Mary who I knew in the first grade, but I digress. To be totally accurate I was acting in school plays, writing and taking part in the dramatic arts much earlier. My parents were a bit confused when at about the age of 9 I announced I was going to write a book. I requested they drop me off at the library and not return until I finished. It was a science fiction story.




You Call That Funny?

I think that humor has the ability to disarm and enlighten. It can take the edge off of a sometimes hostile world and that's important to me. From time to time I'll feature topics or perspectives and present them in a way that I find amusing such as the "help" page which was done for laughs. Sadly, it's all too common in our culture for people to go out of their way to look for offense which I think has probably damaged our ability to laugh at ourselves and we need the restorative power of humor now more than ever. Or to put it another way, lighten up!




The Joke of the Day
Or the week or the month, depending on when I have time to update it.

A friend sent me these a while back. I can't vouch for their authenticity but they are nevertheless funny:

Actual Instruction Labels:


- ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.

- ON BOOTS CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

- ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.

- ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

- ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

- ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

- ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.

- ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

- ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

- ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.

- ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

- ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.

- ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

- ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

- ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.